A Day at the Zoo (Look Dad, more rocks!)

The other day I had a late flight, so I spent the morning taking Madison on a father-daughter oughting to the zoo. First of all, the San Diego Zoo is the place to be during the week with your child, if you are a mother! As I walked Madison by various groups of mothers with their designer strollers, stepometers, Gucci sunglasses, and latest gossip, I would receive one of two looks from them -either "Oh how sweet that man takes his daughter to the zoo, if I could only get my husband to do anything with our daughter!" expression, or the "What his he doing here on a week day morning! Does he not have a job to support his family with or his he making his wife work! How disgraceful!" expression. You might think I am imagining such pretentious thoughts (and considering I am only speculating from the adorning smiles and scowling frowns and did not actually stop to ask any of the women what they they thought of me taking my daughter to the zoo on a weekday morning), you could be correct. I can assure you that every mom I walked passed stopped to look at me, and not all of them were happy to see me invading on their territory.

Anyway, Shelly and I have a family membership to the zoo and have taken Madison their often, but as fast as Madison changes, we have not been there in a couple of months, and the last time we went she was fairly oblivious to anything farther than five feet away. In fact, last time she wouldn't have noticed a pink elephant jumping double dutch if she was not on top of it. This last visit she was much more attentive, and though she still might not have known that the various shapes were animals, she was excited when they moved.

The following is the conversation I imagine Madison would have about some of animals if her vocabulary extended beyond the "daddada" and the "baaaabaababbheebooaaabaabaabaa" vocabulary she currently possesses.
"What are we suppose to be looking at, Dad? All I see are a bunch of boulders. Those are what? Rhinos? Dad, I think the zoo people pulled a fast one on you by calling a bunch of rocks 'special' and then charging money to see them."
"Seriously Dad, we paid money to see that thing? All you have to do is walk in our neighborhood and you'll see a dozen of those things. What that's not a seagull? Well, it's close enough. I don't trust anything white with wings, for they're all eyeing my grahm cracker sticks."
"Look Dad an orange rock! Quick, grab it! It might be gold and then we can go somewhere with real attractions, like Disneyland!"
"That is the ugliest dog I have ever seen, and does it smell! I don't think Southbark Dogwash could do anything to help its personal hygene, and Mom said Belle smelled. She needs to visit this exhibit."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it, some type of exotic bird. Why don't we move on before we become target practice for the exotic bird."
"What's big and blue, sits in a tree, and doesn't move? I don't know, but apparently it's that thing."
"A puppy I can pet! Uhm, Dad, we need to go! I think there is something wrong with this dog. It has horns!"
"Quickly Dad, there's a line forming. Who knew getting your picture in front of a hunk of shiney metal was so popular.
Well Dad, I don't understand all the fascination with the zoo, and we definitely saw some pretty odd exhibits, but it was a nice day, I saw some things I have never seen before, and best of all I got to spend it with you."